09-29-09    Paxdyn Blayne Lawrence was born.

7.5lbs  19 in long

I'm a proud Daddy!

eh posting a blog to talk is fun...

Can we do it another way?? 

Facebook Mail? E-mail??

So we can continue this emotional affair. : ) Ha Ha!

I didn't really realize that I left it open.

Sounds like you have had an interesting summer.

You have always loved kids so I assume that your having a great time with them.

Its been way to fucking hot this summer!

Not too much longer and school will be starting back up again.

I'm going back and forth on if i should start taking classes or not.

It's still in the thinking stages.

So did you do any fun things with your dad?

My mom is still being a complete Bitch, and tried to guilt trip me every chance she gets.

When does your school start?? Still doing the Art thing?  I'm sure your photography has been getting nothing but better and better over the years.

My summer was work. Thats all I did the whole summer is work.

Starbucks sucks! It sucks your soul away. Slowly.

Its nice to catch up with you. And i can't say that i'm not happy that we are "sorta' talking again.

I know we are not the same as we use to be, but maybe its for the better. No matter how things DO turn out.

; )

-Xak-

He is getting really big.

I dont get to see him as much as i like due to my work schedual.

I think i get it now.

I don't want you to feel guilty for this.

I wish things could of been different, things SHOULD of been said sooner.

Raw emotion should of played a role in the past.

Never should of been afraid of letting it all out, letting things be said.

I have changed. And i think i understand.

Your heart can't take this. I can't be selfish about it.

Maybe you do want to talk to me, maybe not.

You are strong, but i've known that for a while.

I WON'T let you have to talk to me when it is hurting you to do so.

I care too much. and i am sorry. sorry for starting it.

If i really do care, i will let you be. And stop making you feel this way.

Making you feel like you HAVE to reply. You don't have to. Not anymore.

I know what i risk. I'm well aware. So don't worry about that.

I'll stop it. Not for my sake, but for yours.

You don't want to be girl who could cause problems in relationships.

Or that girl who help end a marriage.

Your heart is too kind. So. I'll not leave it open this time.

I could ask so many questions, but i'll leave it be.

You have no idea how much i want to say "if you ever want to just leave a message"

Or "if you ever want to talk".

But like i said. I won't leave this open.

I don't want you torn between what you want to do and what you see is right.

You don't have to make this choice. I will.

Once your puppy. Always your puppy.

-Xak-